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DaGimp
December 29th, 2009, 09:55 AM
Humor of the day : PET DIARIES

As seen in a dog's diary:

8am - Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9am - Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite!
10am - Oh Boy! A walk! My favorite!
11am - Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite!
Noon - Oh Boy! The kids! My favorite!
1pm - Oh Boy! The yard! My favorite!
3pm - Oh Boy! The kids! My favorite!
4pm - Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!
5pm - Oh Boy! Mom! My favorite!
7pm - Oh Boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
9pm - Oh Boy! Sleeping in master's bed! My favorite!

As seen in a cat's diary:

Day 183 of my captivity...
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal.
The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild
satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture.
Tomorrow I may eat another house plant. Today my attempt to kill my
captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost
succeeded -- must try this at the top of the stairs.
In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once
again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair -- must try this on
their bed.
Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt
to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into
their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little
cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan.
There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed
in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and
smell the food. More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due
to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to
my advantage.
I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches.
The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is
obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an
informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my
every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is
assured.
But I can wait, it is only a matter of time...

pooz
December 29th, 2009, 10:11 PM
That is why we should exterminate cats.

fsjeepdude
December 30th, 2009, 11:15 AM
That is why we should exterminate cats.
x2
I would only want a pet that wants to be my pal, not one that thinks that THEY own ME!!!